she's just saying...

Soft and prickly

Another reason I love my job: cute animals.

(We're not supposed to call them cute. They're wild, dammit!)

Here's a few more if you missed them.

And you know how they say that people look like their pets?

Unfortunate resemblance. I can be prickly...

Why is leaving so hard?

To those of you hoping for a relationship update, sorry - this is about traveling.

I'm headed to LA for a week (aww, poor me) for a museum conference, which should be a lot more fun than it sounds. Lots of big parties after-hours at various museums, we're staying in a fabulous hotel,  and hopefully have some time off to enjoy ourselves. The only obstacle is that I have to leave town.

For a single mom with pets, traveling is a pain in the patootie. Organizing myself is hard enough, not to mention being gone from the office for a week while continuing to manage projects. But organizing an 11-year old, two cats and a geriatric dog for a week on their own is like planning a military invasion.

I know. Very little sympathy from you all. So I'll move on from whining to packing.

We have five work days including a fairly important meeting, three big parties plus relaxing time. All in a carry-on. I've been fascinated by a slide show on the NYT website in which a flight attendant demonstrates how she packs. It's all about rolling. You tightly roll everything you can, and you fit much more in a bag. She supposedly fits the following in one carry-on for a 10-day trip:

"...three pairs of shorts, three pairs of dress pants, one skirt, three pairs of casual pants or jeans, three nightgowns, three bathing suits, one sarong, three lightweight sweaters, four dresses, 10 casual shirts, six dress shirts, a clutch, toiletries and two pairs of shoes. She’ll wear the third pair of shoes, as well as jeans and a longer sweater."

Hmm. First, I don't think I own that many clothes. Second, she must be a size 0. Third, I frankly don't believe it. And who needs three swimsuits, three nightgowns, 11 pairs of pants, four dresses and 20 shirts/sweaters for 10 days? Are you kidding me?

But I've been carefully watching her technique and am going to try it. Here's my meager collection so far. I just can't find room for the sarong. Maybe I'll wear it on the plane.

Hair Play

Another account I worked on in LA was the Mattel advertising account. I only worked on one small part of it, as it was a vast empire made up of divisions such as Matchbox, Large Dolls, Boys Toys, Polly Pocket and of course, Barbie. (I worked on Boys Toys including some weird air hockey puck, WWF wrestling dolls and the Ren & Stimpy Talking & Farting Dolls. Ah, those were the good times.)

One of my favorite things about the account was the unique language used (love weird niche vocabulary). For example, to brief the creative team, we had to identify the wow factor of each toy. And the Barbie and Small Doll folk frequently discussed the intricacies of Hair Play. 

I am reminded of this lately because I'm engaged in some Hair Play myself. I've been growing my hair longer and have hit the level of Below The Collar Bone, the longest I've ever had my hair. I've always been a short hair person, and am having a bit of adjustment to being a long hair person. Do you put it inside your shirt collar or outside? In front of your shoulders or back? How often do you wash it? How do you style it? All questions I never had to deal with before.

It was looking more and more like cotton candy and not in a good way so I got it trimmed this week. My hairdresser is so good that I hesitate to give out her name.* We've been together 14 years. I'm not the best advertisement for her because I've got weird hair, fine but wavy and regrettably frizzy. But she always makes my hair look fantastic for the first couple of weeks.

She did it again Monday. She got out a hair iron and "product" (another word I love) and totally changed the texture of my hair. It's silky. I've been tossing my head like a hair model, running my fingers through it and flipping it around. Barbie's got nothing on me this week. At least in hair play.

Before

After

*But I'll tell you anyway. Traci Klune at Salon Indulgence. Tell her Melissa sent you.

Another blessed (if prickly) event

No, that's not a hand puppet, that's a baby porky! Spring is here and the porcupines are popping. Thistle and Honeysuckle had their second baby recently, and it's a cutey. There's more info here and the porcupette will be making appearances in June. (Yes, I'm marketing the Museum. It's what I do.)

 

...just as long as they spell my name right.

where the magic happens

The local alternative weekly, the Source Weekly, asked me recently to write a personal article about blogging. And now I'm blogging about my article about blogging. Now that's meta.

Anyway, they didn't spell my name right in the byline, though they did in the little bio after the article. They also didn't publish my photo, for which I'm thankful. But no matter. They got the blog name right.

I'm still not quite sure why they wanted this article, other than the reporter telling me she reads my blog and enjoys it (hi, Sara!). The issue was the Women's Issue, though primarily focused on women in the work world. Also, I'm over 50, which I'm sure the Source didn't know because if they did I'd have been banned from publication. 

I used to work at an alternative weekly in Boston, the Boston Phoenix. I was the traffic manager, in charge of making sure all the ads ran that were scheduled. And all the local clubs would call in to me with their band listings for the week, which was kinda fun for some reason. What I remember most is the coincidence that my sisters' high school friend worked there. (shout out to Clif here) And all the futon ads.

That experience is actually what propelled me to get an MBA and go into advertising. The place was wildly stressful and chaotic (these were the days of physical paste-up. It's when the layout artist actually - oh, never mind.) The national cigarette and liquor ads would come in from the ad agencies all nicely finished with paperwork and such. They seemed so professional.So calm. So organized. Ha.

Since my major from a private East Coast liberal arts college was Art, I clearly needed more education, so I got an MBA in marketing and was recruited by an NYC ad agency actually on Madison Avenue. The rest is history.

So I have a soft spot in my heart for alt weeklies, even if they not proofread so gud.

My life as an A.V. nerd

(I love this painter. He painted 1000 images in 1000 days and blogged about it.)

For some reason that is not at all clear, I have become the A.V. go-to-gal at my office. This primarily consists of hooking up the laptop to the digital projector. It's always right before a presentation when the audience has filed in and is avidly watching. I screw and unscrew connections, push buttons, close and open the computer, confer in a frantic undertone with the presenter and eventually get the image on the screen.

It's a very mysterious ritual and takes a lot of time out of my workday when I could be blogging. (Just kidding!) I guess I kind of like being needed, and I suppose it falls under my role as the Communications VP, but shouldn't it be easier? What I think about during those times is when are these things going to be automatic. Why is hooking up a TIVO, a wireless network or a digital projector still so complicated? And why am I the one who has to do it?

Top Ten Tues: boring details edition

Drowning Girl by Roy Lichtenstein

What idiot said: "Don't sweat the small stuff -- and it's all small stuff"?

Actually, he's right, it pretty much is all small stuff. But it all has to be sweated, or it won't get done. Then what do you have?? The fabric of our society torn apart, rather than just fraying at the edges.

I'm having one of those nights. Here's what I'm obsessing about:

1. Henry's 11th birthday tomorrow - I haven't planned anything
2. Buying cookies for Henry's class on the way to work in the am
3. Finishing videos and the website for the new exhibit we're opening Thursday
4. Flying out at 6 am Sat. for a knitting retreat
5. Organizing Henry for the weekend, complete with ski stuff
6. Valentines Day (the day I return) - cards, candy, etc. for H.
7. Ravelympics 2010 - a knitting event during the Olympics (I'm on Team Hopelessly Overcommitted)
8. Calling my parents
9. Getting Flash to the vet, and oh, who's going to watch him this weekend?
10. Fixing the leak over the kitchen window - needs professional help

Sometimes it's all too much. Nothing to do but have another glass of wine and tackle today's Sudoku. Or whine about it in a blog post.

What do you do when you're being sucked under by the small stuff?

Coolest. Quit. Ever.

Sun Microsystems CEO Jonathan Schwartz announced his resignation yesterday through a haiku on Twitter.

"Today's my last day at Sun. I'll miss it. Seems only fitting to end on a #haiku. Financial crisis/Stalled too many customers/CEO no more"

I don't know about you, but I'm pretty impressed. It almost makes me want to follow my Twitter timeline again. Of course, if you had to tweet in haiku it would be a hell of a lot more interesting.

What would you write if you were a Twitter quitter? In haiku?

I actually love my job, and believe me, I'm very aware of how lucky I am. So I don't even want to write a hypothetical resignation, in case it jinxes me somehow.

However, I'd just like to point out the following:

*From wikihow: "A haiku is a non-rhymed verse genre, conveying an image or feeling in two parts spread over three lines, usually with a seasonal reference. There are 5 syllables in the first sentence, 7 in the second and 5 again in the last sentence. ...

It is important to distinguish between pseudo-haiku that says whatever it wants in a 5-7-5 syllable pattern and literary haiku that adheres to the use of season words, a two-part juxtapositional structure, and primarily objective sensory imagery."

Sorry, Jonathan. Major points for style, taken away for pseudo-haiku. I'd say you should keep your day job, but I guess you just trashed that option.

Meanwhile, I'm now fired up about attempting to write a haiku, something I haven't done since 4th grade. And of course, I'll share my work with you, dear readers. And I'm challenging you to do the same!

Christmas time in the city, briefly

Ahhh - business trip. I've taken an informal poll (of three) and have concluded that moms who work love business trips. Time alone to relax, luxuriating in the bathroom without little hands trying to open the door, no one saying "I'm hungry!" every half hour, someone else cooking, cleaning and catering to your needs. Plus a little shopping between meetings. It's not all bad.

I miss cities, especially old cities. Portland reminds me of Boston a little as do Seattle and San Fran - old cities with rich histories, old architecture and interesting people. We're staying right in the heart of town and it looks beautiful right now - lights on the old building cornices, in the trees, stores all bright and shiny.

This hotel is one of the new trendy urban models, sleek and arty. The building was the old Meier & Frank department store and Macy's is now on the first floors. I imagine that my room used to be in the ladies' lingerie section.We're right on Pioneer Square across from Nordstrom's and an upscale mall. It's all eye candy for a gal from a small town on the other side of the mountains.

I only have one complaint: why can't fancy hotels use soap dishes?

I know it would mess up the super sleek zenlike bathroom, but it's annoying. As a mom, I fret about having to wipe up the counter constantly. Though of course it's not me doing it this time.

Top 26 Tuesday: Museum edition

 Random things I've done at work recently:

1. Took closeups of a chorus frog for the local paper
2. Approved a new radio spot after music editing
3. Set up a webpage to sell tickets to our Live Bats show
4. Analyzed the results of our visitor survey
5. Approved the layout of three print ads
6. Toured a photography producer and location scout
7. Wrote exhibit copy for our new Quilts exhibit
8. Ran the cash register in our store
9. Wrote a presentation for the next Board meeting
10. Bussed tables in the cafe
11. Negotiated radio and TV buys for the next quarter
12. Got to know the new pioneers at the Homestead
13. Planned press for the new spotted owl eggs
14. Wrote a positioning statement and new taglines
15. Oversaw video editing of our news coverage
16. Approved merchandise purchases for the store
17. Developed a new blog for the Museum
18. Sold Museum memberships
19. Worked on high-end donors for our Challenge grant
20. Uploaded animal videos to our Youtube page and website
21. Demonstrated how to play "pick-up sticks" to kids
22. Discussed the layout and colors of new signage
23. Attended live animal shows (owl, skunk, hawk, badger)
24. Wrote the creative brief for our new TV commercial
25. Stamped hundreds of toddlers' plump little hands
26. Pet our very gassy goat

Noah the Toggenburg Milch Goat

PS: I'm neither bragging nor complaining - just enjoying the variety!

T.T.T: Workphrase edition

Phrases I use a lot at work.
After 20+ years in advertising, I've picked up a number of catch phrases that come in handy, or at least I seem to say a lot. These can actually be useful, as opposed to the bizarre biz-speak I wrote about here.

1.    Let’s not fix it in the room
This is a classic ad agency line that’s useful when a client/boss/colleague wants something changed in a piece of copy or concept, and everyone starts to throw out suggestions right there in the meeting.  It means “let us go away and work on it and we’ll come back with an alternative.”

2.    Give it the overnight test
Sleep on it and come back with your thoughts tomorrow.

3.    Reach x frequency
Not a catch phrase as much as a useful concept. This is the basic media measurement of how well you're communicating. Reach means what percent of your target is receiving your message and frequency means how many times they get it. The balance of the two is the art of media, and communication. (Shout-out to KG here.)

4.    Off strategy
Only once you’ve identified what you want to accomplish with a marketing effort can you then judge the creative. No matter how clever/funny/original an idea is, if it doesn’t meet your objective, it’s off strategy. You’ll see people trying to retro-fit the strategy to the cool idea, but it’s not good marketing.

5.    Mother-in-law research
When a client or colleague takes the idea home and gets a random opinion of it. This is not the optimal way to test creative. Also known as “secretary research” back when they existed.

6.    Fast/cheap/good
Pick two of the three. That's all you get.

7.    Share of stomach
Like market share, but on an individual consumption basis. Originally only applicable to food products, but I have used it instead of "mind share" which sounds too brainwashy.

8.    Need-to-know vs. nice-to-know
When I design a research survey, clients often want to throw in all kinds of questions on the theory that “If we’re going to ask them this, let’s find out that.” That’s fine if you have all the time in the world to ask questions, but respondents burn out after 3-5 minutes max. So we need to identify the need-to-know questions versus the nice-to-know stuff. Not that easy.

9.    Sick Demo Well
This is an advertising formula that describes 50% of the commercials out there. Something is wrong, the product is introduced with a demonstration of how it works, then everything’s all better.  Cold medicine, motor oil, chainsaws, airlines, you name it; it’s sold via this formula, 'cause it tends to work, and it's easy.

10.    Let’s take a step back
This is my go-to phrase for any crisis or tortured/detailed/panicked plan. In other words, let’s identify what it is we’re trying to accomplish before we launch into random action. It’s a great phrase that calms the room and puts things into a workable perspective.

And the Lucky Strike Extra (another old ad phrase):

11.     “Got a minute?”
This is never a good question. It’s usually followed by the layoff conversation, so when you hear it, say no, you’re too busy doing crucial stuff that will save the account.  I speak from experience.

Visiting with Industrious Visitors of the Visitor Industry

I'm at the Oregon Tourism Conference in Salem, Oregon. More to come...

Badger of the day

Bonnie, originally uploaded by Meltrier.

This is Bonnie. She's nicer than Clyde (yesterday's B.O.T.D).

Clearly...

Or not so clearly, I need a better cameraphone.

busy day

Everybody's having fun...

Free Day at the Museum

Just opened and already crowded. Wow. It's normally $10/adult in the winter and $6 for kids, so a pretty good savings. Most of the visitors today only come on Free Day, so it opens the museum to many who would not otherwise be here. Nice. But crowded. My advice - if you can afford it, come on a regular day. Updates later...

not your normal office sign

I'll bet you don't have a sign like this in your office.

Though maybe you need to.

Two things about everything

There's a theory that for every subject, there are really only two things you really need to know. Everything else is the application of those two things, or just not important.

For an example, for trading, all you need to know is:

1. Sell high
2. Buy low

Of course, someone started a blog meme about this that I ran into recently, and I thought y'all would enjoy this little exercise. So, to get you started, here are my entries:

Two things about management:

1. Praise in public, critique in private.
2. Your job is to help them do their jobs.

Two things about client service:

1. Clients don’t like surprises.
2. Always tell the truth.

Two things about being a valued employee:

1. Make your boss look good.
2. Don’t blame others, but always give credit.

Two things about marketing:

1. Find the end-end-benefit.
2. Make it crystal clear. 

Two things about market research:

1. Identify the real objective.
2. Only ask the need-to-know questions, not the nice-to-know.

Two things about PR:

1. Perception is reality.
2. Perception is created.
   

Two things about single parenting:

1. You have to do it all yourself.
2. You can’t do it all yourself.

Two things about blogging:

1. It’s really not about you, it’s about your readers.
2. Don’t post anything you don’t want your mother or your next employer to read.

OK, your turn!

Top Ten: Year in Review edition

You know the purported Chinese curse: "May you live in interesting times." This has been an interesting year, both globally and personally. Because this blog is ALL ABOUT ME, here is a top ten list of interesting things that happened in my life this year. (in chronological order - I'm not about to rank them!)

1. I started the Bend Knit-Up, which grew from six people to over a hundred in a year.

2. My dad turned 90, and we all celebrated together in NC and everyone got along.

3. AT&T bought Edge Wireless, and we no longer had any work, though we still had jobs.

4. Neighbor X and I broke up, got together, and finally broke up.

5. I taught myself the whole blogging thing, that which you are reading at this instant.

6. Henry and I went back east for a family trip and went to Fenway. Go Sox!

7. We were finally released from AT&T, though were still paid, allowing me a summer off.

8. I spent the summer off shoveling dirt and hauling rocks for my waterfall.

9. I got a new job at the High Desert Museum - yay! and patted a badger.

10. My dad broke his hip and I flew back east for the third time.

What were your interesting times?

Top 10: Strange comments edition

It's back! Not that anyone noticed it was gone.

Top Ten odd phrases I've uttered in the pursuit of my profession.

1. The goat is ready for his close-up.
2. Cue the seagulls!
3. Can someone fluff the curds again?
4. Just don't let Tom Skerritt fall through the floor this time.
5. Trim his hair another inch and we're good.
6. You can't use the fake scoop for the hero shot.
7. Can you lick the Twinkie a little less suggestively?
8. Let's wipe off the cow snot and do it again.
9. Can we dub in the fart later?
10. I think we've got to cut the Chihuahua.

Shout out to RayO!